2007 © Strephon Kaplan-Williams

We have here a list of things to do and not do in having successful love relationships. This list is created by a professional relationships counselor and psychotherapist. Some of his suggestions may seem outrageous to you, but there is fun and learning in being shocked, is there not? Following the suggestions in this list as practices may change how you love and relate in life. It is your choice. Loving Laurie Audio Book is the background true story that is the basis for this list of the right way to love. Sometimes making lists is an important way of thinking through a life situation. True Love Relating is certainly a major life experience that we all need to develop in and have the right perspective on.

Here our some list items on True Love Relating. Check them out. Mark which you agree with, and which you do not agree with. Give your reasons in conversation with somebody.

Key Question

What are you doing to learn how to truly love?

Bring these lists to the dinner table or a friend’s lunch.

Pull out the list at a cocktail party and see whom of the group leaves you and your list and whom of the group stays.

Outrageous, yes? Not really!

Do’s And Don’ts’

Some Do’s To Do In Love Relating (remember that some may jar your attitudes and seem outrageous)

• Always be honest, telling your regular partner when you have had sex with someone else.
• Follow up attractions to other than your regular sex partner with some contact with the other person, even if just to say something that shows your attraction or to make contact.
• Don’t have sex with more than 100 people in a life-time. I haven’t!
• Don’t marry the wrong person for you to relate to. I did just that and regret it to my dying day.
• Don’t yell at your sex partner at the breakfast table. It’s bad for digestion. Create peace, not war, at the beginning of your couple day together.
• Don’t hide a lot of money from your spouse. Money is reality. Be honest about money. Be honest in your relationship.
• Don’t sexually lust after people in the real world. Express this lust in fantasies, not reality. The real world is for committed sexual relationships.
• Don’t hold back on having sex until you are married. You will be too inexperienced about human loving to be able to make a right decision about marriage.
• Don’t sexually relate to someone you are not creatively compatible with and flowing in love together. I have done this too often in life.

Key Question

Are you having too much sex?

• If you get in a sexual relationship with someone and it turns out there are some big incompatibilities, end the relationship immediately and let both of you get on with your lives. I have learned how to do this.
• Have plenty of sex when you are young so you can learn to handle it without getting carried away by sex.
• Don’t marry or move in with anyone whose sexual needs are still compulsive.
• Don’t let anyone try to solve their sexual problems in your sexual company.
• After twenty-five don’t have more than two lovers in one year. By twenty-five you should be deciding on finding the one right sexual mate for you of all available.
• At age twenty-five if you are having more than five lovers in one year, stop for a year having any sexual contact with anyone, including yourself. Take cold showers. Exercise. Focus on philosophy and spirituality. Develop your mind and your ability to discriminate and follow higher values. This has worked well for some people.
• Don’t sexually relate to anyone who wants to sexually relate to you just because they want you. If you don’t have strong feelings to explore love with somebody, don’t have sex with them.
• Don’t treat sex casually. Don’t have sex as part of first dating after age twenty-three, because by then you should have had enough sexual exploration experiences.
• Don’t be nice to people on the first and second dates. Be real. Say your true feelings about them in the moment from the very beginning.
• Don’t play games! Don’t be nice to people just to please them or not hurt their feelings.
• Make a strong demand before you let someone have sex with you. This can be in the form of money, like a present of one thousand dollars. This can be a promise to do something important for you together, like weeding your whole garden, or going away somewhere in nature for a weekend, all expenses paid.

Key Question

Are you really strong enough now to have sex with people?

• Make some demand that must be fulfilled first, like get a hair-cut, wash the B.O. off your body, clean up your apartment, write ten letters about yourself first that you will reply to. Be creative but make sure the one who wants to explore relating with you pays a price.
• Sex is not free. It is a powerful creative energy. Don’t give it away, even if you want to get laid.
• When you have sex, tell your parents about it in detail, how you feel about it, and whatever else you want to say. Have the courage to affirm what you are doing. If they want to punish you or don’t listen, move out immediately. You must take full responsibility to fulfill yourself. You determine your own destiny. Too many adults are afraid of their parents!
• When you tell your parents about your current sex life, make sure they in exchange tell you about theirs. Don’t let parents get away with hiding themselves and not being as self-revealing as they want you to be. As an adult, order your parents around. They ordered you around enough in childhood.
• When you have sex with someone, know them first, inspect their genitals. If at all seedy, get them medically checked out first, including an AIDS test. If they don’t do it, then no sex, no sexual relating, no relating, no friendship with you is possible. It is a dangerous world out there.

Key Question

What are your destructive sexual attitudes?

• After your years or months of sexual exploration, settle down, at least by age twenty-five, and set fundamental conditions about whom you want sexually-lovewise to relate to. Include compatibility, commitment to love fully, commitment to change your lives and personality in the crucible of your love together, equality in power-sharing and in everyday life responsibilities, commitment to honesty and open sharing of all of oneself. And no outside lovemaking with anyone else, but if this occurs then it must be honestly revealed and the issues settled between the two of you.
• After twenty-five only mate and relate with someone you have a direct energy connection with, as well as the fundamentals above about love relating. Say, “I’m twenty-five now. I don’t sleep with anyone anymore who is not fully compatible with me in a deep love relationship.”
• Don’t marry or partner with an opposite. The attraction may be strong, but so is the prescription for disaster.
• Marry, or partner with, a person who has similar fundamentals and values to your own. Relegate the rest to “only friends” or “get lost” status.
• After twenty-five stop having casual sex just because you have the need to get laid. Now you must find the right one for you. Don’t stay at home alone nights until you do find the right one for you. Keep testing the waters. Keep dating. Go to places where people with your own interests and values are.
• Once you think you have found the right one, give your all to developing the relationship. Sacrifice anything that stands in the way. Make sure your new partner gives all as well to your developing relationship, and makes all the necessary sacrifices.
• Don’t mate and relate to egocentric and narcissistic people. I have. They never let you in. They give you glimpses of themselves to keep you interested. Ask yourself, is this person as interested in me as they are in themselves? I know. It’s hard to find someone who is as interested in you as they are in themselves. But keep trying.
• Don’t relate to losers, even if the relationship is not sexual. Losers are those who criticize and complain, who seem always in crisis, who manipulate you to give them money or take care of them. Who touch on your heart strings. Who have talent and hope, but also insolvable problems, it seems like. Don’t waste any of your life with a loser, even if it is your own child. Let them go from you so they can try and waste other people’s lives, but not yours. Ask yourself, if down underneath you are not also a loser?

Key Question

What are the seven keys that you must have in a love relationship?

• Apply everything said here above to yourself. Analyze yourself honestly. Are you one of those whom people should not seriously sexually relate to? Be honest. Admit to where you are a weak or incapable lover. Seek professional help. Change yourself and mean it, so that you too can become an honest and true lover in life.
• Start each day with affirming that you are going to practice being real and positive in what you do that day. True love is positive.

Key Question

What will you sacrifice to find and have true love in your life?

• True love cares, is honest, leads to realness in all that you do. True love affects others, gives them a lift in life. Giving others a lift in life should also make your own core being and day more positive. Right? Try it! Okay?

Key Question

Who was Laurie and why was she so important in Strephon’s life?

2007 © Strephon Kaplan-Williams

When you are dating, Do not prey upon each other.
Know that you each share The need for love, And that need is sacred.
Explore, but do not invade. Look, but do not project. Act, but do not be afraid.
Live your own self and being. You have nothing to lose But your isolation, so relate!
What is a date, then, But jumping up and down On a springboard, Then jumping in?
What is a date then But the playing around With needs and The stroking of desire?
Don’t do what you think You want, do what you feel. Be responsive and real.
Don’t waste money. Spend it wisely.
Don’t make love, Yet love the making Of Desire.
Talk but leave Little silences. And when you are Finished with each other?
Kiss and go somewhere. Or say goodbye.
Because goodbye Is forever, and You are looking for The right one.
The right one? Is it you! Or, isn’t it?

Memory

As a former dater I do remember the fears at meeting someone, expected much, for love is much to expect.

I remember the excitement because I was going to be with this person and get real and intimate, or so I hoped.

I remember the need I had not to be alone, but to share a daily life together because I am a talker and a relator.

I don’t like being alone all the time, so I am a natural dater. And what about you?

I learned also to tease around a bit, to ask questions, to reveal things about myself that were always a bit wild, a bit weird. Then come back to center so as not to scare anyone!

I think I was seeing if the other person could be an adventurer with me, if the other person could smile at my jokes, if the other person could make counter jokes or serious remarks in return.

It had to be high adventure. Nothing. No movement, no engagement, would be out of the question and I would be bored.

Then I thought sexual thoughts. I thought, how can I salvage this evening? I thought maybe if we make love we will have something to say also together?

See how weird it can become, this dating? For in truth, it should be the other way around, shouldn’t it?

We should be making love because we have interacted well. We have opened to each other and want to go further. We have matched each other, but each from our own selves. We are still different, after all! Yet, able to unite!

What do you remember after? What do you remember, even for years? It’s not the success you had, like having intercourse. It is the failure you make together. How you met yet didn’t meet. Know what I mean?

Yes, you both failed together, yet you take it personally. What if? What if I had been a little more forward, a little more real, what would have happened with this person? Would we have connected?

And so life goes on. You miss the opportunity for connecting. You had energy for each other and you did not both open up in the right way. You missed your chance.

Eventually you make it somewhere. Eventually you stop just dating and you start just relating. Eventually you try and get what you want but also have to take what you get.

Eventually you settle down with someone, or you retreat all together. Eventually is eventually now. Remember, you say to yourself, it all counts for something.

But what is that something, you ask yourself? What is it you really want from that other person, and do you get it?

And then your life is over. Then you have been with someone, at least part of your growing years. Then the dating is over and maybe you have lost that freshness that is life.

Remember how it used to be? Remember how you used to date and expected anything and everything? Remember how you used to date and ask, is this the one?

Remember, and it is always so. It is always you in the encounter with this other person who started a perfect stranger? Remember those days?

And did you ever get what you wanted? Did you ever have hopes realized? Goals set? You silly fool. It was not them you were after. It was yourself. It was you you were after! It was you and what you were doing with your life!

You must find yourself first, and then you can find another!

Remember, remember that it doesn’t last forever. Not this date. Not the next and the next. Not your life either, and not the other person’s.

You must make a choice. You must be as real as you can. You must make a choice now, or at least soon.

Are we going out again? Are we going out forever? Or at least as long as life lasts? You ask yourself these questions, and then you have to act.

This is what a date is. This is what a date really is, isn’t it?

And then your life is over.

2007 © Strephon Kaplan-Williams


Sometimes it happens to us that we are being divorced or want a divorce. In response to this reality, Strephon Kaplan-Williams gives us a series of precepts as guidance in processing a separation situation. Having a realistic perspective on love separations can make all the difference in how we further love in life. This article is good for ourselves and for friends we know going through a relating crisis. From studying this list you can make your own list for handling a love crisis. Or simply take this list and discuss it with a partner or friend for insights into your reality.

Dear Concerned,
As the professional that I am supposed to be, you cannot get an answer from me whether to divorce or not? Yet, you have stated your issues very clearly. So I give some observations, which I offer in general from experience in working with myself and others, and many couples.



Handling Couple Crises And Separations - Do’s And Don’ts’

• First almost on this list is the realization that we as humans prefer the happy times and dynamics of intimate relating, yet there comes a time where a relationship falls into suffering. Suffering is the emotional effect of human bonding going through a stretching and breakup process. Just as we unite for wholeness and unity, so do we also separate for differentiation of ourselves from others, so that we may the more find our true selves, and prepare for new unity experiences that may come our way.
• Separate out from unconsciousness within in order to build new unities of strength and being within, from which to reenter the outer world of relating, bonding and cooperative achievement.
• Inner is prior to outer. Even with outer relating, always look for and deal with inner dynamics being evoked.
• Talk more about yourself and what you are experiencing, rather than defining your own reactions and actions in terms of the other person. Why? Less confusing and more respectful to talk in terms of yourself. No one is to blame. Talk about yourself and let the other person talk about themselves. Don’t attack.
• Couples should be honest and realistic about relating. This means don’t play games. Don’t relate to anyone you don’t want to relate to.
• If a relationship takes more energy than it gives, why stay in the relationship? Relationships are for enhancing and building the life force together. We should gain more value and energy than we give in having a love relationship.
• Divorcing or separating seems like a big deal at the time but in terms of reality and change, humans do it all the time.
• The choice to divorce or stay with someone should be made by the individual. The individual is one hundred percent responsible for their own lives. Couples do not make decisions. Individuals do.
• We have one life to live. No one else is responsible for us. We make our own decisions and take the consequences. This is reality. This is life.
• Don’t love somebody because they need your love. This simply does not work in reality. Love because you feel the desire to love. Love comes from yourself, not because of the other person.
• Don’t manipulate to try and get love. Don’t respond to another person’s manipulation to try and get you to love them.
• Present love is not an obligation to love someone based on the past. What we each gain from loving someone must be in the satisfaction and sharing of that moment. You cannot defer to the future reward for present action.
• We owe no one for what they have done for us in the past. Why? Because we live one hundred percent in the present moment. The present moment is who we are now and what we are now. If a relationship is not working now to our satisfaction, for whatever reason, then it is not working for us. Make the decision to either create a crisis and challenge in the relationship, or simply end it.
• We choose to love, for whatever reasons. If we don’t choose to love someone, then don’t fake it. Let the person know the truth that we are unwilling or unable to love that person.
• Reality is healing. No matter how much we fear another person will suffer it is our responsibility to let them know the truth of our perception of them and our ability to currently love or not love them. Thus, give the other person your perception of yourself first and stay with that.
• Reality is healing. If you don’t love someone, tell them, and let them and you get on with your lives.
• One usually chooses for both in a relationship. If you are certain about what you should really choose because of your own feelings and values, then choose what is right for you and take the consequences.
• There are always consequences for every choice. When we choose regarding another person we also are choosing for them to handle their own consequences for the choices we make, just as we have to handle the consequences from others for the choices we make.
• Learn to choose strongly in life following inner guidance. When you know a truth for yourself and life, follow it, act upon it. This will change your life and make you a strong, inner-directed person.
• Act when the moment is ripe.
• When possible, rededicate to the present relationship, or end it, based on what you already know and experience about it for yourself. While humans often use falling in love with someone else to end the relationship with the present partner, this usually clouds the issue. Make yourself single first before seeking to love another. Then you will be dealing with only your present partner and relationship.
• If you find that it takes falling in love with someone else to end the present relationship, then face the following: Are you using the new person to make yourself strong enough to end the relationship with your present partner? If so, make sure you are clear on why the present partner relationship is not working and cannot work for you.
• If you are using falling in love with a new person to end the relationship with your present partner, make sure you have talked about this issue with your new love partner so that you are both dealing with the issue realistically.
• The basis for relating to some one is that the relationship is mutually beneficial to both of you in an ongoing way. Use the relationship crisis to face honestly and thoroughly what you have and need in loving relating, as well as what you don’t have. Keep clearing up love and life issues with anyone you are relating to. Don’t let them pile up.
• Don’t live in fear. It takes courage to truly love. Live in fear and you are already dead.
• Consider keeping relating to both your new lover and your present lover, but be open about both, so that the three of you are under the fierce challenge of being rivals to each other. This kind of testing will break each of you down to your core levels of being, and show the real values that each of you live by.
• Keep relating to both love persons to the extent that each and all of you have your say about what is being evoked in the love relating. Yet, don’t try and help or make it easy for anyone else involved with you. Let them handle themselves as best they can. You must stay focused on your own values and desires in the situation.
• Risk all in the relating happening during a love crisis. Risk giving up, or having taken from you, the possibility of relating to one or either of your current lovers. Be able and ready to have a lean period yourself in which you relate to nobody but yourself as you get your new life together.
• Recognize that building your new life at the present stage of living might mean that you are changing and now must focus all or most of your energy on yourself and not on a relationship with another person. Make this clear to each person who wants to relate to you that you need your time, energy and space for yourself right now, and not for deep relating with another person.
• You have a right to your own life. You have a right to your own decisions. You have a right to your own desires for fulfillment in life. You have a right to live in whatever way reality lets you live. Affirm this right for yourself. Don’t resist these rights also for the other person.
• Don’t live your life anymore for taking care of another person. You live and die alone. You alone can can your life yourself. You need your primary energy and love for yourself, not for taking care of another person. This is reality.
• Affirm your right to love and relate to whomever you choose is right for you according to your own desires and values and life stage.
• Don’t condemn others for not being right for you. No one needs to be made bad by you so that you can justify to yourself and them your own decision to no longer relate to them.
• Don’t make somebody else wrong so you can feel right about your decisions. Choice is the one absolute. There is no right and wrong choice. There are only choices and their consequences. You make your own choices in life and live with the consequences.
• Be a bit careful, yet be honest, in how you tell a love partner that you don’t choose to relate to them anymore. Don’t make them bad. Put your reasons in terms of differences and choices. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.
• Talk in terms of choices, rather than reasons. Reasons do not justify choices. Outcomes only justify choices.
• There are ultimately no reasons why people separate or stay together. Reasons why do not justify anything, or make a choice right or wrong.
• People either relate to each other in the present or they do not. Make this reality position clear to yourself and others. Deal with what is happening a lot more than with what is not happening.
• If the meal does not feed you, get up from the table and find another.
• You don’t have to justify yourself and your actions to anyone else. No one else can be you, can be in your shoes. Even though they may judge you, talk about you, no one else can live what you are going through or know your situation as you experience it.
• Thus, all stories and opinions about you are false. Don’t believe a word anyone else says. You must learn to believe in yourself. The more you have integrity and are real about how you live your own life, the more you will believe in yourself and live your life powerfully from your own core values.
• No one can make your choices for you or suffer the consequences of your actions. You alone make your own choices in life. Accept that and choose for what fits you in life the best.
• When the separation crisis happens, some couples do divorce and never relate again. They either cannot deal with their issues, or one or both just gives up on the relationship, for whatever reason, justified or not.
• Recognize that the suffering of separation is partially the realization in oneself, and the other, that that part of life you both lived together is over. This is a partial death. Part of your life is dead. This creates grief. Honor it but also make new choices for new life.
• Other couples clear the air of past repressed feelings and issues, and choose to go on relating, but with much more honest and real relating.
• These couples who choose to stay together often do appreciate each other in real terms. Also, both of a couple that stay together are willing to make changes in themselves and their attitudes and behavior so that they can relate better in fulfilling themselves and the other person.
• Change is in the air. Change is the spice of life. Development is destiny.
• If you have strong dreams about your present relationship, as well as future relating, even though everything in the dreams may not be true, or the same, as in outer life, take seriously the issues the dreams indicate. Dreams do not give answers, but they sure often raise the right questions.
• We often dream of what we do not have in outer life that would fulfill us.
• Do we follow our dreams or not? The core question is, do we follow superior guidance in life to what may be the personal, egocentric desires of ourselves or another? What we live by is what we live and die by. The guidance we follow needs to be realistic, of direct experience, and purposeful, that it fits our values and what we want to do with our lives, and destiny, that the guidance really fits us down to our core selves.
• Remember that in a separation or crisis process in relating, we cannot any of us know the future. To ground things, act now to problem-solve present difficulties. Deal with what is happening now and the future will take care of itself.
• You cannot know what kind of a relationship you will have with a certain person in the future. Have the most conscious and real relationship possible in the present with a person. Bring the relationship into direct experience, if important enough to you, and from that see what you two are to do together.
• We do not live in the past. The past is dead. We do not live in the future. The future is just potential. We live now through choice and circumstance. Live now consciously and the future will take care of itself.

2007 © Strephon Kaplan-Williams

Let’s get one thing straight to start with. Everyone has a right to their own sexual expression. It is their right in life to express themselves how they see fit within the limits of what others who have power over them set according to the values they have.

Thus when you are having regular sex and relating with someone else not your regular sexual, live-in partner at home then that is your right to do so.

However, your regular partner may try to exert power over you to stop sexually relating to someone else other than themselves. They may bring family members and mutual friends in on the scene in an effort to gain enough power over you to control you and get what they want from you, which is often to stop the affair.


Lying About Your Sexual Life

The biggest reason why a sexual partner starts lying about sleeping with someone else is to protect themselves from being attacked and controlled.

Remember that love connectedness is best expressed when you are in a mutual exchange relationship. Thus with some couples the partner wanting outside sexual expression then makes an effort to include her regular partner in a mutual wider range of sexual expression, such as group sex parties of sexual trainings and so on.

What many of us have been able to do these days is throw off the old Christian, or other religious beliefs, that it is wrong to have certain kinds of sex but all right to have other kinds of sex.

These are artificially created attitudes. Someone judges some human behavior as wrong and then convinces others that it is so.

What’s great about the Torah and the Old Testament is that it is a record of human beings evolving in making laws. There is rape in these records and stealing somebody else’s wife or a man’s seed.



Come Into Reality

If it can be done it will be done. If it is done it will be known.

However, there are consequences for ones actions.

An act of murder is the killing of someone else one does not like. Society dislikes so much allowing people to kill each other because they want to that society devote part of the money they earn to hire others to kill or imprison those who kill other members of society without just cause as defined by law.

In the realm of sexual expression a partner in a primary relationship that seems to be working has an interest in keeping that primary partner relating to them. When a partner has a sexual affair with someone else this becomes a threat to the primary partner because it may mean the end of the primary relationship.

One important function humans use sex for is for indicating bonding. I am having sex with you so that means that we are choosing to spend other kinds of time together as well. We like each other. We can create together in a number of ways and build a life together.



Having Sex With Two Or More People

Thus when having sex with a primary partner and a secondary partner this is perceived as a threat to at least the primary partner.

The primary partner may not have the power and skills to keep their partner bonded to them when there is another human being out their also bonding to their primary partner.

Thus do primary partners say that their partners must relate only to them or the relationship is over and they must divide the goods and push each other away.

Of course all this emotional upsetness and jealousy scenes is play-acting whose purpose is to try and assert power and control over a straying sexual partner. It is an attempt to coerce relationship rather than building the bonding based on natural creative expression together.



Be Creative Not Destructive In Sexual Bonding

If you want to handle a partner you perceive as weakening your primary relationship, don’t get destructive. Do the opposite. Build the bonding. Create further bonding together. If you cannot do this then end the relationship. Why be ineffective in your bonding ability? You want bonding and relating, don’t you, more than you want a certain person to bond with?

Of course it often takes a lot of energy to end a relationship, so this becomes a factor against ending primary relationships. But you don’t have a relationship anyway if you must finally end it, so no big deal. Just end it.

About half of modern people live alone. They are not bonded to another person! They don’t share and build energy and goods together. They do not build a home together with anybody but live their lives alone, probably in an effort to conserve energy and reduce stress caused by the many bonding issues that can be evoked between people.

This is a clinical analysis we are doing. This author is a psychologist and a former practicing relationships counselor. Yes, people are important as individuals, but when it comes to sex and bonding one must see the dynamic factors for what they are so that things can be clearly sorted out.



Ending The Relationship

When someone does not want to relate to someone else this means that they do not want to share cooperative energy with that person, even though they have done so in the past.

The relationship should be ended, pure and simple. If the energy exchange is not right, don’t do it. Don’t waste your precious life energy down a sink hole.

However, if the partner wants to keep the primary bonding relationship and have some sexual and relational bonding with someone else, or a variety of partners, what can be wrong with this if the primary and secondary relating is done openly so that all parties involved know what they are dealing with and can make their adjustments?

Yes, nice and rational, but can all parties involved make their adjustments? Some societies even allow for the secondary relationship so as to make it easier for people to handle their relationships.

What a competent relationships counselor does is teach open communication between partners and also the basics of sharing energy and life with others so that the partners can learn to sort out their own relating in real time with the real values they choose to live by.

Thus, when you are fully adult be sure you keep learning how to cooperatively relate in realistic ways with others so that as you seek to fulfill yourself you are also aware of how others are also seeking to fulfill themselves.



When Life Is Done?

When it all comes down to your dying days, what does it matter whom you have had sexual intercourse with and why? Those times are past. What does matter most certainly is the quality and the effectiveness of the relating life that you have indeed developed with certain others.

What have you become by the life given you?

Did you give up on relationship, as so many do?

Or did you learn how it truly is to fulfill yourself and support another also in the intimacy you two were able to develop together? It’s not whom you relate to so much as it is the quality of the relating you do do with the persons you are in creative contact with during your life time.

You cannot hold onto life, therefore you cannot hold on to another person. You can, however, keep developing your awareness of what it truly is to develop love and mutual bonding in the life that you do have.

When it’s all said and done, you have only yourself. No one can go on the path you go on in life. It is up to you, and you alone to make something of your life, and to help others to do so as well where help is mutual.

This is relationship.

The love that is real is the love happening now.

Diligo ut est verus est diligo venio iam.



COMMENT

Do you agree with this viewpoint that everyone has a right to their own sexual expression? Is there a difference between men and women in sexual behavior and attitudes? One woman said that men do not like jealous women because it intrudes are their perceived need to be freely sexual with anyone they are attracted to. A man said that he practices being available to any woman sexually where the interest is right. What are your views? What do you think should be done when you or someone you know is involved in a sexual affair?